Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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