Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
