BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
