You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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