I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize