yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Randomize
