Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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