College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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