my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
