tell your sister to shave her snatch
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
