Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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