Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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