I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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