Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
