found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
