Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
