Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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