How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize