the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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