I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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