There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
