dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
