It's just like the Real World with babies
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
