is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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