Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
false alarm. still invincible.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
