Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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