Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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