You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
