New invention idea: vibrating tampons
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
