oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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