just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
