She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize