Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize