yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
