Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
