Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
