You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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