So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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