marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just found puke in my bra..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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