you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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