This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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