i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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