Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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