You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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