Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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