i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
