We won't sleep together?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
