guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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