I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize