8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
