I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
