Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
