No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
