Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
