3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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