Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
