those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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