btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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